Post-Forgetful Stress Disorder

Soooooo guess who got her laptop fixed all by herself? Tech feminism, that's hot. To explain: I haven't been able to Google/Netflix/stream Game of Thrones for DAYS now, and it's been killing me! I am scarily reliant on machines. Not looking forward to the Luddite revolution.

In other news, we recently got to meet my sister's new boyfriend! Which was exciting, because I've never had the opportunity to haze anyone before. Mwahahaha. We made him walk dogs with us, watch shitty TV with us, put on face masks with us, and we even made him carry his girlfriend's very inebriated sister out of a bar!

If I'm being honest, that last one was less of a deliberate hazing and more of a very lucky accident [for me]. And we made sushi! Sushi that, incidentally, is very bad at lining stomachs. But goes fantastically with lychee martinis. Just for future reference.

I have managed recently to do the single most frustrating thing a person can ever do. I left my jacket on a train. Now, to put this into context, this is my leather jacket that I wear ALL THE TIME. I am/was surgically attached to this jacket. I loved it more than was possibly healthy. And I LEFT IT. ON A TRAIN. ON ITS OWN. This is how David Cameron must have felt when he left his child at that pub. Except worse. "CURSES!', I cursed loudly, shaking my fists in the sky in Preston train station. This went mostly unnoticed in Preston, from which you can draw your own conclusions. RIP best jacket ever. May we meet again in the afterlife/eBay.

After Cheshire, it was off to Ireland [which is where I am now], for my month's elective placement in Dublin. Now, have any of you ever tried to pack for a month's vacation? Anyone tried to pack for a month with an 18kg luggage allowance? Including textbooks and stethoscope etc? It is nicht gut. I had to line up all of my possessions in order of a) weight, b) expensiveness, and c) closeness to my heart. My studded pumps, watercolours and entire skincare routine made it. A warm coat did not.

Dublin update coming soon! Follow me on Instagram and Twitter for more escapades.

In The Valley Below - Peaches
The Mighty Sequoyah - Insect
The Last Royals - Crystal Vases
Orlando - Show Me Where The Bullets Go
Cocorosie - Gravediggress
The Paper Kites - Paint
Benjamin Dunn and The Animal Orchestra - When We Were Young

Paris Paris

BONJOUR MES AMIES. Why am I speaking French, you ask? Well, because I've just come back from a casual jaunt to Paris! Yes, a casual jaunt. Nothing better than a [very] long weekend away with your best friend to reinstate one's joie de vivre. It's been eclair o'clock every hour of every day, interspersed with various other pastries and even the occasional meal.

It's not for nothing that we told the couple next to us in the fondue restaurant - "We came to Paris to EAT." They couldn't even finish their fondue. Amateurs. We ate 5/6 of the cheese one and all of a meat one. I drunkenly yelled at the waiter when he tried to take it away from us. What can I say?  I heart cheese.

There's nothing quite like exploring a new city with just your wits, a map, a travelcard, and [THANK GOD] Google maps as well. Can't have too many maps, that's for sure. Whizzing about underneath Paris, playing games of Paris Metro Chicken [how inappropriately can you touch your travel companion without freaking out/drawing too much attention?], stumbling across an old man riffing with some buskers on his harmonica whilst everyone sang along to Bob Marley, and being serenaded by ridiculous accordion music. And that was just UNDERGROUND!

The absolute best thing about Paris? NO HANGOVERS. I kid you not. Not a smidge of a geule de bois in sight. And I have absolutely no idea how we managed it. Was it the fact that we soaked up all our wine with copious amounts of garlic and cheese? Was it the two nights we spent just drinking out of baby bottles? REVEAL YOUR SECRET, PARIS. The world needs more wine-filled nights.

Having said that, since coming back I've suffered through the worst hangover known in mankind's history. It was a carried-out-of-the-club-sent-to-bed-too-hungover-to-make-pancakes hangover. A lie-very-still-don't-play-candy-crush-the-screen-hurts-my-eyes hangover. I have NEVER been too hungover to make pancakes before. I think all my Paris hangovers hit me at once.

The best way to eat eclairs - on a balcony

Prepare yourself for more photos to come - I'm not blowing this all at once, no sirree. I'm leaving you wanting more. Like Paris did to me [SOB].

Eliza and The Bear - The Southern Wild
Ben Rosenbush & The Brighton - This Fire
Andrew Simple - Souvenirs
Mikhael Paskalev - I Spy
Thumpers - Dancing's Done

Anyone enjoying my new header as much as I am? Probably not. Props to the person who can figure out what album I've painted as playing on the iPod!

Skulduggery and the teapot

It's finally spring! Kind of. Well, down in Cheshire it's at least pretty sunny, even if it is pretty damn cold. I'm spending a month at home at the minute, which means fresh flowers in the kitchen, lots of baby-talk with the dogs, and most of our evenings spent watching vaguely obscene Channel 4 documentaries together [my mother loves them, and my dad pretends he doesn't].

All of our lights in the house recently stopped working, which although it does lead to weirdly romantic solo candle-lit showers, does also mean that I had to go to the toilet in pitch black. In a onesie [why am I always in onesies?]. Imagine the vulnerability of having to be completely naked - the one flaw of onesies - and times that by the scariness of being in a dark room. By yourself. It's a wonder I survived to write this blog post, dear readers.

High point of my week: arriving home to find a surprise gift of a head in a box [disclaimer: not an actual head] from my lovely new beau. I've named him Victor. The head, that is, not the beau [he's called Richard].

Low (moral) point of my week: getting fed up with the builders' CONSTANT requests for cups of tea and coffee, and lowering myself to the point of deliberately making very weak tea and very strong coffee. Pretty soon I'm going to stop using the nice coffee. And switch up the spoonfuls of sugar.

Hi Victor!

Chairlift - Bruises 

Little Green Cars - Harper Lee 

Ms Mr - Fantasy 

Ivan & Alyosha - Running For Cover 

Keaton Henson - Beekeeper

Also a big thank-you to all my new followers who've helped push me up to #3 in Film, Music & Books worldwide on Bloglovin'. Is that a humble brag? It's not even that humble. Sorry guys - I'm just BUZZED.

Doughnuts with a big D

Hello new lovers! And old ones too, of course. How is everyone? I feel like I'm coming out of hibernation, and by hibernation I mean constantly-in-a-onesie. I'm not disgusting though, I do have two onesies that I rotate. And sometimes I just wear pyjamas.

If you're worried that all I've been doing is slothing around, DON'T WORRY. I've also been drinking. And studying. My studies have shown that mixing G&Ts and lychee martinis is dangerous. You're welcome. Other important results: the attractiveness of the wine label is proportional to the deliciousness of the wine, and you should always keep lemons in the house. Always.

Having recently caught tonsillitis from a child during my paediatrics block, I've been sadly unable to go running [oh so sad] because my go-to response when I'm ill is to faint, which let me tell you is fantastic for a medical student. Nothing better than fainting during ward rounds. Or surgeries. Or while shopping. So instead of running, I've been hula-hooping [this is valid exercise okay] and self medicating with doughnuts.

And not just any doughnuts, OH NO. KRISPY KREME DOUGHNUTS. The doughnuts to end all doughnuts. The Doughnuts with a capital D. The King of the Doughnuts. The doughnuts that I drove 80 minutes and 24 miles in total to get [we were literally turned away by police the first time it was so busy]. And were they worth it? YES THEY WERE.

DISCLAIMER: I didn't eat the entire dozen. I ate a half dozen. And I regret nothing!

Guards - Silver Lining
Lord Huron - Ends Of The Earth
Unknown Mortal Orchestra - Swim And Sleep
Matt Corby - Lighthome (live)
Lisa Mitchell - Providence

I'll always be restless, I'll always have something to fill

I love this time of year. It's the time of year when indulgence is the word of the day, and you can eat apple pie for breakfast, lunch and dinner, because it's cold, damnit. Overpriced coffees are no longer a frivolous purchase, they're a necessity, because it's cold. Wearing a ridiculous number of layers topped off with a bobble hat doesn't look entirely ridiculous, because...well, you get the picture.

And I've been taking full advantage of this. Apple pies, rustic soups, spiced lattes, cosy nights in, giant Eeyore onesies included. I've even dipped a toe into the lake of mulled beverages - mulled port! I'm going to mull everything in sight soon enough. Mulled cider? Delicious. Mulled wine? There are no words. Mulled...brandy? Mulled cooking sherry? Mulled Malibu? Nope, too far, even for me.

It's also the time of year for us final year med students to start making some big decisions. Where do we want to go for the next 2 years? What specialities do we want to do? And, even more worrying, do we actually want to practice medicine? With five years of study behind me, and I-don't-even-want-to-say-how-much student debt, it's easy to feel pushed into a corner by my degree. How many of us, if we knew what we know now, would still take that first step onto our career paths?

If the world was your oyster, what would you do?

For less introspection and more onesies, follow me on Twitter and Instagram @1girlandheripod

Kodaline - All I Want 
Milo Greene - Cutty Love
Fort Atlantic - Noone Will Know
Lucy & The Cloud Parade - Whistle-Clap-Hey
The Lumineers - Ho Hey

Mother Mother - Infinitesimal

Miner - Hey Love

Monsters Calling Home - Monsters Calling Home

Familial Gin Tolerance

I KNOW. I'm naughty. I've been ignoring you all. In my defence, it is pretty hard to update a blog when you spend 5 days a week without wifi. Can you imagine? No wifi. But my sentence is nearly up, and I'm being let out for good behaviour, and all those other prison metaphors, because I am BACK, baby. Back in Edinburgh, back on the blog, back to a normal life. [For four weeks].

So, what's been happening? My trip to Palma was indeed as boozy and food-filled as I was hoping - in terms of gin tolerance, I got absolutely schooled by my dear madre, although I did have to top up my tan a little with some sun in a bottle once I got back.

That's pretty much an entire glass of gin I'm holding. 

On the life front, everything's going pretty well - I'm no longer entirely hating running, I have at least attempted to ride my bike, aaaand I'm dating again! I do love dating. I've been traipsing round chapels, romping through fields, mixing up mojitos and drinking coffee by the gallon. AND I've even got some cupcake orders, so my plan to use baking as currency is slowly but surely coming to fruition.

And I turned 23! Very old indeed, although subconsciously apparently not old enough, as I thought I was 24 for a good 3 hours the other week [and promptly had a quarter-life crisis]. And now, to the music:

The Ultimate Bearhug - Foolish Things
Caracol - Shiver
Fibes, Oh Fibes! - Apex of the Sun
Gossling - Wild Love
Sarah Jaffe - Glorified High

All pretty upbeat summery tunes. Give them a listen (all the way through), then right click + download.

Daisies and Tequila

Hola, que hay? Yes, dear readers, I am on my summer holidays [aka June] and hence I'm getting a bit of Spanish practice in before my trip away. Hopefully I won't need more than "Another glass of red wine please" and "I'll have the paella" because that is all I'm doing. Boozing and eating and tanning. Eating and tanning and boozing. Tanning and boozing and eating [You get the gist].

So what have I been doing with myself so far? Good question. I have attempted to ride my bike for the first time since I bought it a month ago, and although I do love it dearly, I still cannot turn corners. At all. I can manage a wide arc at best, so I'm going to be staying off the roads for the near future. But be warned, Edinburgh - Cyclist Emily is coming! Eventually!

I also went on a little jaunt down to London for the jubilee and to see my best friend - and she's very lucky that she is my best friend because otherwise I probably wouldn't have attempted a 5 hour train journey with what was the worst hangover I've had in about a year. Tequila, I blame you. And wine. And gin. In hindsight, I blame myself. Don't drink and train, people. 

To combat this naughtiness, I've been forced into exercising by my sister, and I've come to the conclusion that I'm not a very good athlete, not that anyone is very surprised by that fact. Yes, I have managed to run 3km this morning [yeah, I'm feeling pretty smug. SMUG RUNNING = SMUNNING] but I then did have to stick my head in the freezer due to the fact that I turned absolutely beetroot red. Sexy, huh?

So here are some summery tunes for those of you also on holiday, and those of you still slogging away at work. And those of you attempting running. Or not.

Parlovr - You Only Want It 'Cause You're Lonely
The Concept - Gimme Twice
Fenster - Oh Canyon
The Neighbourhood - Sweater Weather
Stealing Sheep - Shut Eye

p.s. Have you noticed my little re-decorating spree? Holidays are the best time for [blog] facelifts.

Coffee coffee coffee, keep it coming

Hi folks - it's that time of year again! Yep, exam time. Some of you may even be lucky enough to have already finished for the summer, and to those people I say - "What are you doing here?". This is a strictly revision-only zone, no time for frivolities or joviality or japes or capers. That's capers the 'playful skipping movement' not edible capers. Those capers are very welcome.

What have I been doing to inspire such strict motivation? Absolutely nothing - that's the point. Lunchtime revision sessions turn into chain drinking free refills of coffee and gossiping sessions. Early nights turn into stay up til 5am to find out if your best friend has appendicitis nights. Even earlier nights are waylaid by watching trashy trashy programs about girls 'rinsing' gifts from guys. Did anyone else see that?

And then, on Monday evening, tragedy struck. Something happened, something so terrible that even now I find it hard to talk about. I feel like I have lost a little piece of my heart.

I dropped my iPod in the toilet.

Disclaimer: It was a clean toilet, thank you very much.

Without even thinking about it, my hand shot straight in there to rescue it, the kind of mindless act of heroism that I'm sure any mother would do for their child. I rapidly dried it [him?] off, praying to Steve Jobs that everything would turn out alright, and then I buried him in a bowl of rice. Wholegrain rice, because I'm healthy like that.

Two days later, and I'm still waiting it out. Too nervous to turn him back on. In honour of my iPod [after whom this blog is named, of course], here are some more chilled out tunes.

The Oh Hello's - Cold Is The Night
Half Moon Run - Full Circle
Passenger - Things That Stop You Dreaming
Rocky Votolato - Little Spring

In case you haven't realised, I'm being overly dramatic. But still, gutted, eh?

Halt, Tiny Army

I am SO sore. But a good kind of sore - sore from plunging back into what is probably a very irresponsible yoga routine. I have muscles aching where I swear there aren't any - seeing as my exams are in 3 weeks, this worries me. But isn't there something incredibly satisfying about stretching? I used to be able to bend down and touch my head to my knees, and now I'm so inflexible that every time I drop something I'm like eh *picks it up with foot*.

Also, we've been infested with ants in our tiny kitchen in Fife - ants! They've been spotted marching up the stairs to the flat, all of their tiny minds fixated on one thing: my food cupboard. YES, maybe they have excellent taste, for ants, but my tiny marshmallows are for me, ants. Me. What am I to do with my nightly hot chocolate now? Use REGULAR size marshmallows? I think not!

Old pictures but new tunes, folks - I've got a tonne of new music coming your way, so keep your eyes peeled.

The Spinto Band - Take It
Delta Spirit - California
San Cisco - Awkward

Hello again, hello

Hello! What a month or so it's been. I've been in charge of the costume department for a musical [which went exceedingly well, photos perhaps to come], learning psychiatry in the depths of Scotland and I've somehow managed to drive over 500 miles in my car. Pheww. I also managed to park in completely the wrong place and get my car towed - goodbye £180. 

However, I've also managed to gain a beautiful bike, complete with wicker basket, for the full dickhead look, a beautiful bouquet of flowers, and been persuaded back to the blogosphere by a couple of lovely emails from followers [Hi, Bea and Casey!]. 

I've successfully traversed my way through vaginas and babies, although there was an awkward spot where a woman actually getting a baby ripped out of her kept maintaining eye contact with me, while I desperately tried to keep my "Oh shit they're actually cutting your hooha right in front of me this is terrible I'm never having children" look from off my face.

And now I'm spending all my time in what is known as 'The Kingdom of Fife', feeling like I'm in a horror movie as I drive around a converted lunatic asylum, while mental patients wander around willy-nilly. Although one did tell me she liked my glasses. Win?

All of these photos are from my instagram - I'm @1girlandheripod, just like twitter

Here's what I've been listening to on my many, many car journeys:

Iwan Rheon - Changing Times

Ben Howard - The Wolves

Rogue Wave - This Too Shall Pass

Sniffy Dog - Little Boxes

A thimble of a man

Buona sera. I had about 3 days last week where I didn't physically speak to anyone apart from transactions in shops. It was wonderful. 

Sometimes I think I enjoy my own company a little too much. But give me a solid couple of days of baking, sewing and reading, nothing to do but fill time and I am content. However, saying that, it's definitely nice to have everyone back in town - I've been on lovely trips to St Andrews, seen the Muppets movie [ehhh. At one point I turned to my friend and hissed loudly "FUCK OFF, WALTER", which sounds a little extreme, unless you too have watched it and then you know exactly what I'm talking about], and gazing at pictures of diseased lady-gardens.

What?? Diseased va-jayjays?? I hear you ask, in shocked harmony. Yes. Diseased hoohas. I'm starting on obstetrics & gynaecology next week, which should be...interesting. There are certain things that you do not want to know about otherwise you will NEVER have sex/children ever. Don't google 'blue waffle'. Just don't.

Also not fun - hearing a seventy year old man talk about 'sophisticated foreplay'. I can't unhear that.

On the fateful Valentine's day of my last post, somewhere during my wine and electric blanket binge, I managed to impulse buy a Kindle. Do I already have an eReader? Well, yes, but it's really old and slow and Kindles are so pretty. So then I became obsessed with sewing little cases for things, which progressed into this absolute beauty of a laptop sleeve.

Yes, that is my actual address on the back. Decorative and functional. Incidentally, I made up this design during a sleepless night after watching The Woman In Black. I then fell asleep and had nightmares that my sewing machine was haunted.

Matt Corby - Brother
Milo Greene - 1957
Bombay Bicycle Club - Shuffle
Russian Red - The Sun The Trees

Oodles of tea and lashings of biscuits

  Hola lovers. Right now I am doing nothing but drinking wine in bed and it feels GOOD. I've been staying with my family for the past couple of days, attempting to write 3000 words on a subject which I am fast losing interest in, while my family go and do fun things like walk puppies and play badminton and go see Warhorse [which I didn't even want to see okay? Because a) I don't like animal movies and b) I did actually cry in the trailer. You'd think those two points were mutually exclusive, but apparently not]. I did however practically have a tea IV drip, as my grandma is unable, as all grandmas are, to see someone without a hot drink/snack. I am FULL of ginger nuts.

And now it's Valentine's day, and my boyfriend is probably right this very minute performing a rap on a French alp [don't ask], so what's a girl to do? Well, cook a gigantic steak, wash it down with a very expensive bottle of red wine and for a finale - homemade creme brûlée. It's a day for love, and I do love myself. Very much. Which is why the wine has joined me and my electric blanket in bed. Sad? Or AWESOME?

I'll leave it for you to make the judgement call. Here are some tunes:

Bison - Switzerland
Family Of The Year - Chugjug
Grouplove - Naked Kids
Seeker Lover Keeper - Even Though I'm A Woman